The Muppets take Vietnam
by Jackson Ryder
Summary: This is a story about the Muppets as an elite special forces team similar to the Navy Seals in vietnam. Very funny stuff. Just something I wrote for laughs and for practicing my storytelling


_The M.u.p.p.e.t.s. take Vietnam_

Vietnam, Circa 1970.

_The Vietnam War had been raging heavily for some time. Heavy casualties had been taken by both sides. On a good day U.S. forces would gain some ground, take a village, or push Vietcong regiments back into the jungle. As soon as the new day's sun would beat down on us, so would the VC, sometimes pushing us as far back as the Metiong River Delta. Meanwhile, the protests at home against the war didn't help the already low moral among the fighting soldiers. Things were not looking too good for our side. _

_ The way things were going, there was a good chance we could lose this war. That was, until the creation of an elite unit. A unit that far surpassed the skills and abilities of any other fighting force. A unit that could meet every challenge, defeat any enemy and be, seemingly, in all places at once. _

_ This unit came to be known as the M.U.P.P.E.T.S., with each letter of that name representing their mission in this war and in future wars to come. The name M.U.P.P.E.T.S. means Maintaining a Ubiquitous, Predatory Presence, to Exert Total Superiority. Thus, the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. were born. _

_ They were far more precise and lethal than the Navy SEALS and more covert than the infamous Delta Force. Led by Kermit The Frog, who was probably the most respected amongst all the soldiers for his strategies and winning battle techniques, they were about to enter a new era of warfare._

_ The following story was taken from real life experiences from actual soldiers who fought in the Vietnam War. Most of the accounts are real, but the names have been changed. Some of the accounts are fiction, made up to enhance the story. _

Chapter one

_ The group consisted of six members. Kermit, the leader of M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad, was an expert in strategy, hand to hand combat and he could fix anything mechanical. He was hard working and dedicated to the armed forces. _

_ Next was Fozzie Bear, the heavy weapons specialist. He was formerly a member of the Hell's Angels biker group, but he joined the armed forces after the violent stabbing death of his brother Fizzie Bear outside a bar in downtown L.A. Fozzie was as tough as they come. _

_ Next was Roelf, the tracker and one time Cocaine abuser who got sober after a 3 month stint in Chino Penitentiary for possession. When he got out of the pen, Kermit rounded him up and took him under his wing. Roelf had the best tracking sense of anyone in Vietnam. _

_ Animal was the demolitions expert and mine sweeper. Full of energy and wild as can be, Animal was sent to M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad after his heroic actions in which he saved 4 Asian hookers from being blown up before the top brass could use their services. _

_ The fifth member was Gonzo, the radio man and hacker extraordinaire. Gonzo could use a coat hanger, some spare phone cable, a metal bowl and a 9volt battery to create a makeshift tele-communications satellite dish. He was also one of the best negotiators with prostitutes and never paid more than five American dollars for their services. _

_ Finally, but sadly as well, the sixth member of M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad had been recently killed on a mission near Bien Hoa. His name was Rizzo Rat, the team's Flame specialist and tunnel rat. He was a brave soldier, who was not afraid of anything, which was probably why he caught Chlamydia 3 times in his first year in Vietnam. _

_ M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad had been operating around Bien Hoa for around a day or so, asking the Cambodians if they had seen any VC. The local Villagers would say "No VC, No VC here", so they thought it was clear and trusted the people. Then Rizzo walked through an open gate. _

_ Roelf had always told him "Don't walk through no open gate." Roelf had even screamed at him a couple of times "Don't walk through that gate! You're going to get your ass blown away, you fucker!" It was a death trap the VC used many times on American G.I.'s. The poor bastard was supposed to get out of there in a week or so. The team took the loss very hard. _

_ The only replacement they could find on such short notice was a new recruit named Elmo, who was fresh out of Sesame Street. He was known as a cherry, which meant he was young, inexperienced and untested in combat. This also had a double meaning, insinuating a soldier's virginity. _

_ His first day on base, he stuck out like a sore thumb because he had no rifle. He was working shit jobs for other soldiers. Everybody seemed to treat this guy like shit. The commanding officer would make him go on all the shit details. If they sent squads out on patrol around a village, they'd make stay in it, burn the targets designated and then walk the perimeter. He would be loaded down with twice as much gear as all the other soldiers. _

_ Kermit saw all of this and thought "Wow, this kid's got a lot of balls. He takes all their shit and busts his ass to make his officers proud. He is so proud to be serving his country. I've never seen a soldier with such a hard-on to please his superiors." _

_ This made Kermit admire his spirit, because although he was a runt and probably gay, he had more heart than guys twice his size. Kermit approached General Big Bird about adding Elmo to M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad. Big Bird agreed and Elmo was sent to the base hospital for a final checkup before he was added officially to the team. This would also give him a chance to meet the rest of the team. _

_ When Elmo got to the hospital, he was checked out by a short, fat nurse nicknamed "Meatball". She looked like shit and smelled even worse. There was a standing bet going as to whether she was even a woman. She was quite manly and in some cases brawnier than the new recruits fresh out of boot camp. She was quite unattractive. _

_ However, in her mind she was the sexiest nurse on the ward and the hottest thing since Marilyn Monroe. She'd bump and grind over to a patient, all sweat, piss and blood covered and say all breathy in an Alabama accent "I bet you just never thought you'd see anything looking so pretty and smelling so sweet." If Elmo could have hit her, he would have._

_ Elmo tried very hard not to vomit from the foul odor she emitted. Meatball asked him where he was from. "I'm from (gagh) Sesame Street."_

_Meatball replied "You ever been with a real woman before?" "No M'aam" replied Elmo. Meatball picked something nasty out of her nose and then flung it across the room. She then said "Ooh, a virgin. If we have time, I'll teach you a thing or two about love making. I'll try not to break you junior, ha-ha!"_

_She then scratched her ass and spit on the floor. At that point, Elmo could no longer stand the smell and vomited all over. _

_ Elmo asked for something to help his stomach. He also had a case of "Montezuma's revenge for about three days now and was running to the bathroom every ten minutes. He asked for something to help that as well. Meatball waddled off to see if they had anything to give him. _

_ Just then Fozzie Bear walked over to him, to help bail him out of the mess he was getting into with Meatball. Fozzie said "You know how you stop the shits? You eat the peanut butter in the C-rations. You won't shit until you drink the grape juice. Drink the grape juice and you'll shit your brains out. Between the peanut butter and the grape juice, you'll stay regular."_

_ "We'd better go' said Fozzie 'we have to meet up with the rest of the team. Elmo asked "But what about the nurse, shouldn't I wait?" Fozzie looked at him and said "you'll be alright kid. Besides, I don't think you want any of what she's offering. Her bush is thicker than the jungles of Vietnam and full of or more 'skeeters than the swamps of Georgia. Besides, that guy next to you is in worse shape."_

_ The soldier next to Elmo had Jungle rot on his hands so bad that the only way he could carry his rifle was to cradle it in the bends of his elbows, with his hands up in front of his face. His hands were quite sore and burning, so were his feet. _

_ To make matters worse, Meatball was trying to proposition him for a quickie in the latrine. The look on his face was of pure terror. She was going to have her way with him whether he liked it or not. He would gladly have traded places with any other soldier in even the harshest combat situation than stick his man meat in Meatball's love box. _

_ The day before, a couple of sappers(kind of like suicide bombers) had made it into one of the American bases and took out an A.P.C. carrying about 13 soldiers, who had just returned from a heavy confrontation with some N.V.A. regulars outside of Saigon. _

_ It was a routine mission when they were caught off guard outside Saigon. The Cookie Monster, who was a high ranking lieutenant, called in some heavy artillery to help the soldiers in the field. Within seconds, all the N.V.A. soldiers were fubar. The soldiers thought it was over and headed back to base. They thought they were safe, but they didn't know some sappers had followed them to find out where their base was located. In total, 17 were killed and 29 were wounded. 9 died there and 8 more died in the hospital. _

_ The hospital was crowded already and the wounded soldiers who caught some of the blast from the sappers filled up every last available bed. Elmo had to wait a very long time before he could be signed out due to almost every doctor and nurse being preoccupied with the more severely wounded. _

_ Meanwhile, all the final preparations were being made for the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. next mission. It was a search and destroy that would take them to Hanoi, along the Red River Delta. This was a mission of great importance and could not be fucked up. Unlike a newlyweds honeymoon, this mission needed to be done very quickly. _

_ It seems a colonel had gone missing and was rumored to be living in a cult like group, made up of North Vietnamese rebels and said to be located somewhere near Hanoi. The top brass was worried about secrets being leaked to the enemy. _

_ Secrets like; American battle tactics, troop movements and base locations. Also things like what a donkey punch and a dirty sanchez are, the real location of a woman's G-spot and so forth. This colonel had to be taken out at any cost. It was too risky to send in a big unit, so the boys of M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad were their only alternative. _

_ The only intel they had was that this colonel's name was Grover. Once a well respected citizen of Sesame Street, Grover lost it one day while out on a mission deep inside of North Vietnam. He killed all the members of his platoon due to the paranoia from the opium and pot he bought off of a Chinese whore. _

_ Grover thought the rest of his platoon was going to steal his thoughts while he slept. So, he killed them all one by one. All except one, who Grover made his personal slave in exchange for sparing his life. Afterwards, he grouped up with some Vietnamese refugees and then started selling off the body parts of the dead soldiers. _

_ We also knew he liked alligators and other jungle wildlife, so he might be in a marshy, swamp like area. He was an expert in stealth tactics, warfare and hand to hand combat. In fact, he was probably one of the best. He even trained other soldiers at Fort Bragg before being shipped off to Vietnam 3 years ago._

_ This was going to be a dangerous mission, full of peril, rough obstacles and probably a couple of hookers. The boys of M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad were up for the challenge. They were our last hope in this, our darkest hour. Well, maybe not our DARKEST, but it still sucked pretty badly. _

_Chapter Two_

_Elmo was standing by a jeep waiting for the other members of M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad. He pulled a picture of Raquel Welch out of his pocket. It was cut off at the neck and by the knees, but all of the important stuff was there. It served Elmo's needs on all those lonely nights in the bush. _

_ He'd hold it, caress it, lick it and sometimes talk dirty to it. He would say to it "Who's been a bad girl? I think it's you and I think you need to be punished." This would help Elmo gat into the mood. It's kind of hard to "crank one out" in your bunk when the guy next to you is jerking so hard that it looks more like he's trying to start a lawnmower than masturbate. _

_In this shithole it was the only relief one could get, short of going to a prostitute. Elmo had never been to a hooker, but that would soon change. Just then, Animal and Fozzie bear walked up to him. They asked him if he needed any party packs before they left. Elmo did not know what a party pack was. Animal told him "Trust me, you want to have at least one while out on a mission." _

_A party pack is made up of ten pre-rolled joints. They were in a box and wrapped up in plastic, so if you get wet you don't have to worry about them getting messed up. There was another type of joints called 100's, which were longer than a cigarette. They cost a dollar a joint because they were soaked in opium. A half of one of these would get six guys high for hours. _

_Elmo was nervous about buying or smoking pot so close to the base. The week before six people had gotten busted for smoking dope. A guy named Snufalupigas Ortega had dropped a dime on some other pot smokers to save his own ass. General Big Bird caught him smoking some pot out behind the latrine, so he offered to turn in some other pot smokers in exchange for not getting into trouble. _

_Well, first he actually offered to give Big Bird a blow-job, but Big Bird was not into that sort of thing. Everyone hated this guy and wanted to kick his ass. One thing you never do is turn in your fellow brothers in arms. If you turn your back on them, you could get the shit kicked out of you. Or even worse, you could get locked in a closet with Meatball for an hour, which was a fate worse than death to some of the soldiers._

_At the height of all this, Ortega was bit by a rabid rat. When you're undergoing rabies treatment, you shouldn't drink. It reacts with the rabies treatment and really messes you up. Ortega, being the Chicano juicer he was, really boozed up. He went into a frenzy, so they had to tie him to a rack. _

_That night, a group of soldiers got some gasoline and went to where Ortega was. Someone knocked out the First Sergeant and took him away with a concussion. Ortega was doused with gasoline and then someone threw a match. They took him out with burns over 85% of his body. _

_After that no one knew what happened to him. This was a big message to anyone who might have ever thought of being a snitch. This was also a big reason why Elmo was nervous about buying and smoking pot. He could be easily broken down to talk about where he got the drugs from. It was a good thing all the other soldiers didn't know that. Elmo already had a hard enough time making friends as it was. _

_Just then, Kermit and the rest of the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. walked over to where he was. It was now time to leave. A chopper would drop them off near the village of Mao Mao, which was about 35 klicks from the Red River Delta. This was done because of the large number of N.V.A. soldiers patrolling the area near the river and also because there was a really great whore house about 15 klicks from there, which was on the way to their destination. _

_They landed in a small clearing and offloaded the equipment. Then the choppers were gone and the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. were on their own, for now. Roelf was the point man, taking the lead. Elmo was in the middle of the group. He kept thinking about one of the nurses back at the base. She was about 5' 2", blond with 36DD breasts. She was really hot, but totally out of it. _

_In the hospital she said to Elmo "Here G.I. Have a cookie." At the time Elmo was thinking "I don't want some chocolate chip cookie, I want a piece of YOUR cookie." She was way out of his league and he knew it. The only nurse he could get was Meatball and he didn't want that sweaty, smelly troll. Elmo would rather jerk off with anti-freeze than touch her. Just the thought of her made him want to vomit again. _

_There was no more time now for thoughts of girls or home or any other thoughts that might wander through the mind. This was war; deadly, treacherous and unforgiving. In the bush you had to be on your guard. Kind of like when your girlfriend put on 60 pounds and asks you if you still find her attractive. You had to be ready for anything, because out here anything was possible. _

_ Walking single file, they started heading for the river. This was monsoon season, so when they came everything went under water. It was raining so hard that you could barely breathe. If you tried to create an air pocket using a poncho or your shirt it would fill with mosquitoes faster than you could curse the C.O. who gave you this bullshit assignment._

_ Those were the breaks though. It comes with the territory; in for a penny, in for a pound. A sudden feeling of solitude came over Elmo. Walking along with his poncho over his helmet he could barely make out what was in front of him. Anxiety started building deep in his chest._

_ By this point, the guys were all 7-10 feet apart, which was more than enough to get lost in this hell. He had to keep up his pace. There was no turning back now. He had to stop fearing the unknown and face it with courage. It's kind of hard to do when you realize a V.C. soldier could be hiding 2 feet away from you, watching your every move and you would never know it-until it was too late. To deal with this was to deal with every fear that was bred into his soul. _

_Chapter 3_

_ The rain had finally let up when the boys of M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad came upon a small village. Elmo noticed there were only women, children and old men here. There were no teenagers or young men. They all ate hot fish heads and peppers. Most of them had lifeless expressions on their faces. The harsh realities of war had affected these people long before the Americans arrived in Vietnam. _

_ It was so hot out. It was very humid, too. Elmo and the others couldn't take showers, so they would just sweat themselves clean. Elmo was SO tired. He felt completely drained from the heat, yet managed to somehow keep pushing on. He had to try to take his mind off of the heat. _

_ Just then Elmo noticed an old man, which the Americans called a Papa San and a young girl who looked to be about 12, which they called a baby San. They were riding towards Elmo and the others on a Lambretta. A Lambretta is like a motorcycle, except it has seats in the back for extra riders. It looked run down and puttered along at about 15 mph. _

_ When they got by the team, Roelf and Fozzie Bear stopped them. Roelf noticed that they had a can of pears with them; American pears in a green can marked with a U.S. stamp on the side. Fozzie bear said "Isn't this some shit! All we've had for the past two weeks is 'beans and motherfuckers' and these gooks have U.S. issue food. And fucking pears of all things!" _

_ Elmo didn't know what "beans and motherfuckers" were so Animal explained that it was a nickname given to the c-rations of lima beans and ham that the soldiers ate. Right away, Fozzie grabbed a can of pears from the Papa San and opened it with his bayonet. He dived in like he hadn't eaten in three weeks. _

_ Kermit walked over to the Papa San and ordered Elmo and Gonzo to confiscate all of the pears from the Papa San. Then Kermit told the Papa San "Didi didi mao!" That means "get the fuck away" in Vietnamese. They all ate some pears and then continued sweeping the area for V.C. soldiers. _

_ Elmo had a small journal with him that he wrote in from time to time. It detailed some of the accounts of this war. He stopped to write about this village._

"_We'd go through the village, harassing the women, knocking the old men around. Now this was a guy that you just didn't like the way he looked at you. His eyes were slanty and you just didn't like it. You didn't know friend from foe and a friend could easily turn into a foe and kill you. At least that's what the other soldiers wanted you to believe, the ones who had been there for a year or more. _

_They wanted you to hate them and to fear them all at once. I wanted to know them, to know what their lives were like, what their dreams were and what their thoughts were on this war. Were they afraid of me? Did they hate me, or did they not even care? Did they even know why we were there? I didn't even fully understand why._

_Most of them were not the enemy, but they were tense around us and very standoffish. I guess I expected them to come out and welcome us with open arms and a glass of wine, like the World war two kind of thing. We were here for them. Or at least that's what we were meant to believe…"_

_Gonzo walked up to Elmo and said "C'mon man, we got to get going." _

_Elmo walked back over to where the others were. Gonzo noticed that Elmo looked tense walking through the village. He also noticed that Elmo had wet his pants but tried to play it off like he spilled a drink on them. _

_ "Relax man' said Gonzo, 'the more you think about it, the worse it fucks with you. My first Lieutenant told me I need to have a certain attitude about this place. He said "The gooks can kill you, but they can't take your soul." And I thought to myself, what are you going to tell me or show me that's going to give me anymore insight into this whole fucking situation? You ain't showing me shit. Dead is dead and that's it. That transcends day to day living. After awhile you don't even care anymore whether you live or die. The shock and possibility of death around every bend wears off and things just get surreal. It's like a dream you can't wake up from, only it's real and right in front of you."_

_ "So how do you deal with it?' asked Elmo 'I mean, what pushes you to keep trying?" "The way I figure it' said Gonzo 'if you're killed, you won't know it anyway. When it's your time, it's your time. You just have to hope you led a good life, had some good friends to share some good times with and enjoyed the love of a good woman. This shit here in Vietnam is not who you are. You have to remember who you were back in the world, back home. This place will eat you up if you let it. Also, Pot helps deaden your emotions and suppresses the fear. Just keep in mind though, Pot flattens your lenses and reduces your depth perception, along with your peripheral vision. Those are two things you need to rely on in this place."_

_ "I've heard that smoking Pot helps; that it kind of relaxes you and helps you deal with this shit" said Elmo. Elmo, who was the newest and youngest member of M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad, was what was known back in the U.S. as being "strait edge". This meant he had never done any drugs, never drank liquor or, surprisingly enough, had never paid for the services of a prostitute. _

_ This was quite a contrast to Roelf, who on occasion was known to buy up to three hookers at once while doing lines of Cocaine out of a hollow ring he wore for just such a thing. Elmo had wanted to try smoking pot back home and came close to having sex once, but got scared after she took her pants off. Soon though, Elmo would experience things he never thought in his wildest dreams he would do. He would grow from a boy into a man. _

_ All of the soldiers in Vietnam had been told not to smoke any of the Marijuana that was growing in certain parts of the jungle. They had all heard the rumors of how the V.C. had laced the plants with chemicals intended to make the American soldiers docile and not want to fight. _

_ These chemicals also caused insanity to some of the soldiers who smoked the plants. Grover had disregarded this advice and purchased approximately one half ounce from a prostitute in Cambodia for the equivalent of 12 U.S. dollars. Grover was the best example of being careful about who you deal with here. You never know who's working with whom or what they can do to you once they gain your confidence. _

_ The team headed out of the village and continued on their mission. The villagers were not too happy with the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. right now, but at least they were all alive. That was the important thing; everyone lived, on both sides. No gunfire was exchanged and everyone got to see the sun for one more day. If anyone in that village was to die today, it would not be at the hands of any member of M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad. _

_ The team was about 22 clicks from their destination, when Gonzo set up the radio to call in at their current checkpoint. While they were on the line, Central Command informed them of a side mission that needed to be carried out. It was a mission of great importance that would aid any soldiers working in and around that area. After all, the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. were not the only Special Forces team operating in that area._

_ Intelligence had informed the top brass of a vast number of homosexuals in the North Vietnamese Army. They found a way they could take advantage of this Intel. The boys of M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad were instructed to leave in key areas a device called the "Happy Pappy". The happy pappy was nothing more than a vibrator loaded with C-4. The enemy finds one, picks it up, turns it on and 45 seconds later BOOM! _

_ These were left here by another Spec. Ops. team that caught some heavy fire from the enemy. The M.U.P.P.E.T.S. were needed to finish the job._

_Later after the war ended, this would come to have been one of the most successful campaigns launched by the Allied Forces. There were two ways they would find the enemy; with no heads and no asses. _

_Chapter 4_

_The team split up into three groups to position the happy pappy in key locations known to be traveled by the enemy. Each group would take a different route over the next two klicks and then meet back up and continue on to their assigned target. The teams were; Kermit and Gonzo, Animal and Roelf, and Elmo and Fozzie. _

_ This would be the first chance that Elmo had to talk to Fozzie since they met at the hospital. Elmo was curious to find out more about Fozzie Bear. Fozzie seemed like a mystery to Elmo. He was quiet and when he spoke he more growled than talked. He was quite an intimidating character. _

_ Decked out in tattoos, Fozzie looked like a bad ass biker whose bite was much worse than his bark. He had many scars across his body, indicating he had been in a few skirmishes in his time. One of Fozzie's tattoos was a bleeding cross with the words "With shallow faith, a man doth die alone". Elmo asked Fozzie what it meant._

_ Fozzie said "Whatever you believe in, you must believe in it whole heartedly. If you go with an idea, a belief or a person without truly believing in the cause you can lose everything. You've got to be true to yourself and to others. If you are, then everything else will fall into place."_

_ Elmo was shocked by what he just heard. This was probably the deepest sentiment Elmo had ever heard. He had no idea that Fozzie was so deep into philosophy. This impressed him and it also made sense to him as well. It also made Elmo question himself._

_ Deep down inside did he believe in what he was doing? Did he feel he could handle the situation he was placed in and ultimately do the right thing? He was not sure of any of these things at this point. He just hoped he could stand up to what lied ahead and not let the team down. "Can I do all of this' thought Elmo 'and will I even make it home to have any regrets if I fail myself or others?" Only time and Elmo's faith in himself would answer these questions._

_ Fozzie had a grin on his face and then let out a billowy laugh. Elmo asked what he was laughing about. "I was just thinking about this whore house in Saigon" said Fozzie. "It was a three story, run down shack in the middle of Tu Do Street called the Hung Dao Hotel. The first floor was like a hospital ward, with about ten beds to a room. The second floor was for the kinkier stuff, so they had little rooms. That was also for officers who just wanted to fuck alone. The girls lived and cooked on the third floor." _

_ Elmo seemed to perk up after hearing about this. He had never been to a prostitute. Hell, he was still a virgin. There was a girl back at Sesame Street who he had liked, but he never did anything more than kiss her. She was the Cookie Monster's daughter, and like father like daughter all she cared about was cookies. She'd so anything for a cookie and she was even known to trade sexual favors for them. Somehow, Elmo looked past all this to see the inner beauty she had. _

_Elmo said "There must have been some wild times there, huh?" "Oh yeah' said Fozzie 'we had some pretty hot times with the girls at the Hung Dao. They really took care of you. Well, actually they didn't give a shit about you other than your money, but as long as you had the cash you were taken care of."_

"_I didn't really give a fuck whether they liked me or not. I didn't want the hassle of a long term relationship. I just wanted to get laid and have a good time. Sometimes there'd be a dozen of us in the place and somebody would yell "One, two, three switch" and everybody would jump up, run into somebody else's room and start fucking whoever was in there" said Fozzie._

_Fozzie went on saying "These girls didn't give a fuck. Hell, they'd be smoking a cigarette, all non-chalant right as you'd be nailing her. When you weren't looking the girls would steal you blind, but they always had a big ball of opium for you to smoke. The opium was the best part about going to the Hung Dao Hotel."_

_Elmo said to Fozzie "You really like going to that place, huh?" Fozzie said "Oh yeah. We were there almost every time we were in town. After a while the girls all knew us by our first names. In fact, we were at the hung Dao so much that they made us all T-shirts. They said Hung Dao #1, Hung Dao #2 an so on. Each of us had a numbered T-shirt."_

_Elmo laughed. He'd never known anyone that talked so freely about such subjects. Back home, no one was like Fozzie. They were all very conservative and no one did drugs. All they ever seemed to do was sing songs, count and do repetitive boring tasks. This was one of the main reasons Elmo joined the military. He wanted excitement. _

_Elmo and Fozzie had just finished placing their last happy pappy and continued on to meet up with the rest of the team. Elmo and Fozzie continued walking and talking, exchanging stories about their lives. Before they knew it, they ran into the rest of the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. They were now only 15 klicks from the river and their target: Grover._

_Chapter 5_

_It was now dusk and the boys of M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad decided to bed down for the night. The best defensive position they could find was a hill that overlooked a valley, which appeared to be the only way through the eastern passage. Fozzie and Elmo would take watch duty for the night, with each of them taking a three hour shift on guard._

_Fozzie was up first, which offered Elmo the chance to get some sleep. Elmo hadn't slept since base camp. He was afraid of the dark and couldn't sleep without his teddy bear "Stinky Feet". This fact partially explained why Elmo was a 20 year old virgin. He was also scared to death to talk to women. _

_After 3 hours, Fozzie slowly crept over to where Elmo was. Fozzie handed Elmo the control panel for the clay more mines, which they had set around the perimeter as a defensive measure. "You know how to use this, right?" asked Fozzie. Elmo said "yeah you push this button right here." "Close' said Fozzie 'first you release the safety, right here and then you hit this button three times. Do this all the way down the line and it'll set off each claymore. Any zipper heads try to get past these and they'll end up as chop suey. Don't worry kid, you'll be alright."_

_Elmo grabbed his m-16 rifle and then placed the claymore control panel down in front of him. He then settled in for the next three hours. He hadn't slept in two days and even if he could fall asleep he wouldn't be able to catch more than five minutes sleep. He was too nervous to catch any Z's. _

_About an hour had gone by when Elmo heard a snap about 20 yards away from his position. Elmo looked in that direction, but he couldn't see what it was. He was now frozen with fear. Paralysis had taken his strength from him like virginity taken from the high school prom queen. _

_The claymore detonator was two feet from him, but he was hesitant to reach out for it. If he did decide to move now, he had to be swift and silent. If the enemy saw or heard him he could be killed before he could set off the claymores. Elmo heard another snap about 15 yards away and had to act now. No more time for being afraid. _

_ He reached for the detonator and hit the trigger release button three times. Then he hit the other buttons to activate the detonation, but nothing happened. The bushes rustled about 10 yards from him. He kept hitting the buttons as fast as he could, but still nothing happened. "Oh shit' thought Elmo 'I forgot to take off the safety!" Just as he went to turn it off he saw a wild pig come walking out of the bushes. _

_ His heart dropped and he let out a huge sigh of relief. The pig kind of reminded him of his elementary school teacher Mrs. Piggy. Her daughter Miss Piggy was Kermit's fiancée back home. Elmo laughed at seeing the wild pig and then sat the detonator back down. Elmo nearly shit his pants before he found out it was just a pig in the bushes. _

_ Just then he noticed something moving at the bottom of the hill. It was hard to make out what it was because of the intermittent light from the moon. Then he made out what it was. There were three figures making their way up the eastern side of the hill. The position of the moon was at about ¾ height in the night sky. Once the clouds cleared from the moon's path, it was shining down like a spotlight on the entire eastern face of the hill. _

_ Elmo waited until they moved in a little closer to make out who they were. If it was part of an American squad he didn't want to injure them. When they got to abut 50 yards he could tell it was a VC scout unit. A VC base could be nearby and this could be part of a whole Vietcong platoon. If necessary, the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. could retreat west to their pre-destined rally point at the city of Hu Mao._

_ The three VC soldiers were at about 35 yards away when the wild pig got entangled in the detonation cord for the claymores. The pig took himself and two explosives out in an explosion of pork and sent sausage flying everywhere. This awoke the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. and alerted the VC soldiers to their presence here. _

_ The VC opened fire and Fozzie Bear immediately grabbed his 50 Caliber machine gun. He then screamed "Wokka Wokka, you slanty eyed fucks!" and then returned fire to the VC soldiers, nearly tearing the jungle into two. This reminded him of a gunfight he'd gotten into 2 years earlier at a biker rally in Reno, Nevada. He took out 2 Pagan bikers and bit the ear off of Carlos Vontega, a senior member of the Spanish biker gang Los Locos Juervos._

_ Elmo waited until one of the VC soldiers was closer to the two remaining claymores. As one of them approached, Elmo detonated one and cut him in half. Until that point, Elmo had never killed another man. Elmo's heart was racing and his adrenaline was pumping as bullets whizzed by his head, only missing him by a matter of inches. It was all at once the most frightening, horrifying and exhilarating moment of his life. _

_ Just then Gonzo yelled out "I'm out of rounds! I need a magazine!" Kermit tossed Gonzo a full clip and then tossed a hand grenade down to the two remaining VC soldiers. It was deflected off of a tree and missed them. Gonzo slapped in the ammo ant let loose down the hill. He then ran down towards the VC soldiers while Elmo and Kermit gave covering fire. _

_ By this time, Fozzie was already halfway down the hill, screaming profanities all the way down. Animal was secured behind a tree providing cover fire for him. Roelf tried to make his way down the north side of the hill to flank their position. He figured if he could get behind them, the team could cut them down in seconds. _

_ Just then, three more VC soldiers came out of the dense jungle. Kermit was able to take one of them out just as he was preparing to fire, but another shot Gonzo, taking him down hard to the ground. Fozzie Bear grabbed his Comanche Tomahawk off of his belt and threw it at the VC who shot Gonzo, nearly splitting his head like a melon. _

_ Once Roelf was behind the third man he shot him in the head. Then the remaining two VC soldiers took off under a hail of bullets. Elmo wanted to go to where Gonzo was to see if he was alright, but Kermit told him to wait until he was sure there were no more VC soldiers out there. Once they were sure things were clear, everyone met up by Gonzo. _

_ Unfortunately for the team, Gonzo was the only member of the team with any medical training. What made this situation worse was that he was shot in the liver. This was bad news. As much as they wanted to, the team could do nothing to stop the bleeding and save Gonzo. _

_ 15 minutes after he was shot, Staff Sergeant Gonzo of Sesame Street had passed away, forever leaving behind the nightmare of this war. His role in this mission had come to an end. With tears in his eyes, Fozzie went and collected his tomahawk from the dead VC soldier. For the second time in his whole life, Fozzie Bear cried. He once again had to mourn the loss of someone very close to him. Under his breath he said "Good bye old friend, I'll miss you dearly." So will we all, so will we all._

_Chapter 6_

_ The loss of Gonzo was weighing heavy on the hearts of all of the M.U.P.P.E.T.S., but they had to focus on their mission. It was now morning and they scouted the area to check for more VC soldiers. Once it was cleared, they continued on their mission. _

_ Further down the path they discovered that the soldiers were part of a small team camped out in an abandoned village. They found a stockpile of RPG's, finger charges, which are finger sized booby trap explosives and about 25 AK-47's. There was also about a month's worth of food as well. _

_ The M.U.P.P.E.T.S. weren't really sure just what the six soldiers were doing out in this location. Maybe it was a foreword post that provided scouts and perimeter guards for a VC base camp nearby. They could not tell for sure what the purpose of this location was. The team rigged the weapons with explosives and then detonated them to prevent them from falling back into enemy hands. _

_ There was a strange eeriness to this place. It was run down and had not been kept up in a while. The M.U.P.P.E.T.S. wondered what happened to the villagers that once lived here. Were the forced out of here by the Vietcong, or were they all killed? _

_ Just then Roelf noticed some foot prints leading through the village. They were from U.S. Army issue boots. He followed them to the edge of the village and then they disappeared. He called Kermit over to show him what he had found. _

_ "What have you got here, Roelf?" asked Kermit. "It's strange' said Roelf 'there was a fire fight here. They were shooting in all directions. I followed the tracks to this point, but then they just stop. It's like they just disappeared."_

_ "Who was it that came through here?" asked Kermit. Roelf looked at him and said "it looks like a ranger squad, maybe about six men. They came in through the north and mainly focused on this area of the village. The weird thing is, I didn't find any blood and there were no bodies. Whoever it was, they got ambushed." Kermit said "Keep looking to see if you can find out what happened."_

_ Kermit rounded up the team and told everyone to watch out in the jungle. They didn't want any VC soldiers sneaking up on them. Kermit did not like what he saw here. He didn't like the fact that some of his fellow soldiers may have been killed here and their bodies may have been disposed of by the enemy. In Kermit's mind everyone deserved a proper burial. _

_ Elmo was still shaken up by what had happened the night before. This was the first action he'd seen since arriving in Vietnam. Some of the other soldiers would glorify combat, calling it "the shit". They'd say "I've been out in the shit 3 times", like it was a badge of honor or a membership in a club where induction involves bullets whizzing by you and death being thrown in your face. _

_ Elmo was now united in a brotherhood that most people would never experience in their lives. In a way, he felt like he was a part of something, like he was important and was needed. Purpose he thought had finally entered his life. The only question was, is this the purpose he wanted?_

_ Roelf was poking around some trees when he saw something unusual; hanging up from a branch. He pulled back some limbs to see six bodies hanging upside down that had the skin completely removed. He screamed and then turned around to throw up. _

_ The rest of the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. came running over to see what he had found. They were all in shock at the brutality of what had happened to them. Kermit said "I wonder if these are the rangers." Animal looked down on the ground and found a set of dog tags. It was now confirmed that these were the men in question. _

_ Kermit told Animal to get on the radio to call in what they had found. After that they packed up and continued on their way. When the team had gotten about 2 klicks down the way, Kermit and Fozzie stopped to plan their next move. Animal lit up a cigarette and sat down on a moss covered rock. _

_ It was now going on 11 A.M. and the morning sun gave the landscape a majestic, almost spiritual look to it. The view was quite breathtaking and Roelf said "If this god damn war wasn't going on this might actually be a nice place to visit." Elmo agreed as he looked around and admired its natural beauty. _

_ This place was untouched by modernization and maintained the nature that was meant to be preserved by man. Nature was a wonderful thing when it was respected and taken care of. Sesame Street was once a beautiful landscape until developers came in and started buying up all the land. It's unfortunate when things like that happen. Nature is beautiful._

_ Just then, Kermit and Fozzie walked up to them. They had decided to head west. There was a friendly village close by where they could rest up, even if it was only for a short while. Everyone needed to relax after the loss of a teammate. They were all stressed out and moral seemed to be low now._

_They needed a break from all that's happened. _

_ It didn't take too long to get to the village. It was only 2.5 klicks from where they were. There was hot food and friendly villagers waiting to greet them as they walked into the central part of the village. That night the whole squad ate well and was treated like kings. _

_ After they got done eating, Fozzie walked up to one of the women standing outside of a medium sized hut. He came back a couple of minutes later and told the team it was time for dessert. Five minutes later, 5 beautiful women came out of the hut and walked over to the group. _

_ Elmo was unsure of what he should do. Kermit told him to do what comes naturally and to have a good time. He stayed behind while the rest of the team was each led into a separate hut. Kermit had a fiancé back home and wanted to write a letter to her. He knew he could not mail it to her because of the restrictions imposed by the top brass. They couldn't let any information slip out and get to the enemy. _

_ The rest of the team was enjoying the after dinner excitement. Animal showed why his nickname was Animal. Loud moans and screams could be heard coming from his hut. Roelf, whose favorite position was doggy style, was on his third round. Unfortunately, his nickname in bed was "The Minute Man" according to his former girlfriends. At least he could go five or six times in one session and could please any girl with his tongue. _

_ Fozzie requested the services of a second girl, seeing as how one girl wasn't enough to fulfill his large sexual appetite. He was rumored to be hung like a horse. He smoked two balls of opium and a cigar size joint before he got with the girls. This was common practice for Fozzie back home, before the war. He had taken LSD, Cocaine, Marijuana and a number of uppers, downers and over the counter pills. He was quite the heavy partier. _

_ This was Elmo's first time going to a prostitute and he was unsure of how to approach this situation. To make things even more complicated, the girl spoke almost no English. Almost her entire vocabulary was fuck, suck, yes and no. This was going to make things difficult for Elmo to ask for what he wanted her to do. _

_ She said to Elmo "Me no suck-suck, me fuck-fuck." Elmo said "Listen, I want you to suck-suck first and then we can fuck-fuck later, okay?" She said "No-no-no-no-no, me no suck-suck, me fuck-fuck." Elmo was getting frustrated at this point. All he wanted to do was get a blowjob before he had sex. She was being very difficult about the whole thing. _

_ She then pulled out a hand made wooden pipe with a ball of opium packed in it. Then she handed it to Elmo for him to smoke. Elmo had never done that but he was curious and decided to give it a try. He lit it up, inhaled and coughed out a huge cloud of smoke. The girl laughed at him. She could tell Elmo was new to all of this. _

_ She then offered him some Marijuana to smoke. Elmo hesitated because of all the warnings he heard about not smoking pot. After a while he gave in and smoked it. This gave him a buzz he had never felt before. He kind of liked it. _

_ After he smoked, the girl made him lay down on the bed and started undressing him. Then she took off all of her clothes. She had the most amazing body; 34-C size breasts, a nice round ass and a firm tummy. Her hair was long and jet black in color. She was quite sexy._

_ She walked over to him and climbed on the bed. Then she mounted him and inserted him into her. They started having sex and it was the most amazing thing he had ever experienced in his life. The sex was incredible and afterwards he passed right out. He was completely exhausted from the sex._

_ When Elmo woke up the girl was sitting at a table smoking opium and pot with another girl who looked to be about 15 years old. Elmo got up, put his clothes on and grabbed his gear. On the way out she handed him a sack filled with some top quality Marijuana in it. Elmo took it and walked outside. As he was leaving she said to him "You come back and me love you long time."_

_ The rest of the team was waiting outside clapping and cheering Elmo as he walked outside of the hut. He smiled and walked over to them. They'd all had their fun and now it was time to get back to the mission. Grover was waiting and they had to make Gonzo's death not be in vain. As they left the village, the girl that was with Elmo gave him a kiss on the cheek. He blushed. _

_Chapter 7_

_They were now only 10 klicks from their destination, but the mood of the group made Elmo feel like he was hanging out with some old friends back in the U.S. Fozzie told Elmo he was now officially no longer labeled a cherry, now that he had seen some combat and lost his virginity._

_With everything that had happened, the team seemed to really pull together and formed a tight group. Kermit was especially proud of Elmo and how he proved himself in battle. The team now knew that they could rely on Elmo when the shit hit the fan. Elmo believed in himself more now as well. He found a new confidence that he never had before. _

_With all the fun and joking the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. were having right now, they could not lose sight of their mission. Grover was supplying weapons and supplies to the Vietcong, which were funneled down from China and transported along the Ho Chi Minh Trail. He accounted for about 20% of all supplies used by North Vietnamese forces during the war. _

_This aid to the enemy hindered what progress the Allied forces were making. No one could believe that Grover could turn sides the way he did. Kermit even wondered how reliable the North Vietnamese would be to Grover. They have been known to turn on their allies in the past. Perhaps when Grover was no longer needed he might be taken out by them. No one knew for sure. _

_Grover may serve some useful purpose to the U.S. forces if he could give some information as to the location and movements of the Vietcong regiments. This could greatly help our side in this war. The M.U.P.P.E.T.S. were the best hope of catching Grover now. However, they were greatly outnumbered by Grover's forces. _

_Kermit also realized that help would be very limited when they did find Grover. The help they would receive once Grover was found was a couple C-130 Spectre gun ships and maybe a couple light attack helicopters. The C-130's were running strafing missions along the Ho Chi Minh Trail, trying to cut down on the resupply trucks driven to south Vietnam by the VC. They would most likely be the first help the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. would receive. _

_If heavy fighting did break out, the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. could not mount an adequate defense. Grover's spies were everywhere and Kermit knew this. Grover could already know they were there, despite the fact that the team had taken less traveled roads and back trails that looked to be deserted. _

_The jungle was dense and hard to travel. A trail might lead them up a hill only to find a 200 foot drop off which caused the team to double back to find a safe crossing. What made things worse was the combination of heat and insects which were attracted to the sweat emitting from their pores. Among other things, Malaria and Typhoid fever were two of the deadliest viruses they could catch._

_ "All this shit we've got to put up with here, these fucking bugs, the damn zipper heads and risk of disease and all we get is a lousy $100 bonus,' said Fozzie 'You'd think risking your life for your country would be worth more than 100 god-damn dollars!" Roelf agreed, adding " That's because the big wigs don't get out here in this shit and don't know what it's like to put your life on the line. "_

_ "Oh great' said Fozzie 'here we go again." Roelf had always been into political discussions and believed the grunts knew more about this war than the top brass, who sat in their cozy offices or shipboard far off shore and well out of enemy range to care what went on in the field. _

_ Roelf continued talking "Think about it. Most of them have never seen any actual combat and went into officers training straight out of college. They need to come face to face with an Ak-47 and then see how their view changes. This is a war of weapons, not words or theories."_

_ Animal just rolled his eyes at all of this. He didn't care about politics or any of that shit. He was here for one reason; to blow shit up, plain and simple. He had lost most of his friends during this war and hated the Vietcong with a passion. He hated them almost as much as he hated his gold-digging bitch of an ex-wife. _

_ The team stopped to rest for a moment and figure out the next stage of their journey. Elmo had to take a piss, so he went off to the side to find some bushes. As soon as he started to pee, he felt a burning sensation that he had never felt before. He didn't quite know what was wrong. At first he thought he might have gotten sick from something in the jungle, maybe from an insect bite or something. _

_ He went back over to the team and pulled Fozzie aside. He asked if it could be from all the insects flying around and if it was anything to worry about. Fozzie said "It sounds to me like you might have an STD, like Gonorrhea or something like that. It's not life threatening and it can be cleared up by a doctor. I've gotten it twice since I've been here, along with Syphilis. Don't worry about it kid, you'll be alright."_

_ That didn't do a whole lot to ease Elmo's mind. If he had one STD, who's to say he didn't have anymore. He didn't know who that girl fucked before she had sex with Elmo. Hell, she could have been with 5 guys that day before Elmo showed up there. _

_ There was time to worry about that later. So far the burning during urination was the only symptom he felt. His skin was normal and he wasn't running a fever, nor did he have any other symptoms of other diseases. For now he just had to focus on what he had to do. He also needed to relax and calm his nerves. He felt himself becoming too tense. _

_ Elmo pulled out the sack of marijuana the girl had given to him. He then attempted to roll a joint. The team would probably be leaving any minute now, so he had to be quick. He had never rolled a joint before and was having some trouble with it. He was also worried that Kermit might see him and that he could get into trouble. _

_ Fozzie and Animal just watched him struggle to roll the joint and snickered to them selves. Elmo was spilling weed all over the place and he didn't even break up the buds well enough. When he got done rolling it, it was loose, and clumpy with a big bud in the middle and a hole on one end. It was unsmokeable. _

_ Finally, Fozzie Bear walked over to Elmo and helped him roll it the right way. He showed Elmo the right way to roll a joint. "First' said Fozzie 'you have to break the pot up into small, fine pieces." He started breaking it up and smelled a piece. He grabbed a bud and pinched it between his fingers, which is the best way to get the fragrance of the marijuana. _

_ "Damn, this is some really good shit' said Fozzie 'She really hooked you up, man." Fozzie continued with the lesson "Now, you place it in the paper, pushing the end amounts towards the middle of the paper. But not too far in, you don't want to make the joint look pregnant."_

_ Elmo looked at him strangely. "What do you mean by pregnant?" asked Elmo. "Well' said Fozzie 'that's when there is a big bulge in the middle of the joint. You know, like how a chick looks when she's pregnant." Elmo nodded his head saying "Ahh, okay. I get it now."_

_ Fozzie took the unrolled joint in his hands and said "Now, you roll the paper up. You put your thumbs in the middle of the paper and push up, moving your thumbs to the outer edge of the paper. Then, you like the sticky strip and finish twisting it up. Voila, A perfectly rolled joint." He tossed it over to Elmo. "Now you practice what I just showed you" said Fozzie. _

_ Fozzie watched as Elmo practiced re-rolling the joint. It took him several attempts, but he finally got it right. Elmo rolled up a pretty good joint. He offered to smoke it with Fozzie and Animal, but only Fozzie joined in. "Hell yeah I'll smoke it' joked Fozzie 'I've been dying for some good shit lately. All I've had is some bullshit. Thanks man."_

_ Elmo lit it up and took a drag off of it. He coughed out a big cloud of smoke. Fozzie laughed and said "Ah, virgin lungs. Remember boy, you've got to crawl before you can walk. Take your time with it." Fozzie then took a long, deep toke off the joint. Then he let out a huge cloud of smoke. Elmo could tell Fozzie had been smoking for a long time. _

_ Elmo asked Fozzie "Shouldn't we go off into the jungle to smoke so Kermit won't see us?" Fozzie said "Don't worry kid. Kermit used to smoke himself. He won't mind if we toke a little bit." The joint was now a little roach and Elmo decided to put it away for later. He was really stoned right now. He felt relaxed. _

_ Kermit walked over to them and told them it was time to go. They figured out their next step and it was time to head out. The M.U.P.P.E.T.S. packed up all of their gear and moved out. They were about 7.5 klicks away and the next part of their journey was going to be difficult. IT was time to man up. Elmo was ready. _

_ Chapter 8_

_ The path that the team would have to take next was a difficult one, filled with many hidden dangers along the way. The only useable trail led right into a bottle neck and could leave the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. open to a surprise attack. They all had to be on their guard, more so now than before. _

_ Intel had warned them of heavy minefields surrounding that area. Roelf, being the tracker, was on point to sniff out any enemy land mines that might have been put there. However, there was a new problem. Roelf had developed a cold over the last 12 hours and was having a hard time sniffing things out like he normally could. This could become a big problem foe the team. _

_ They were now approaching the bottle neck, which was a narrow canyon that was muddy and water filled at the bottom. There were high walls of mud and rock which had become loosened from the heavy rains of late. This was a dangerous area and the enemy could cut them down from the top of the cliffs. _

_ It was not raining now and the water was fairly shallow. As the team walked through, they were slapping off leaches that infested the water. There were also about a million mosquitoes, too. Suddenly a large pile of mud slid down one of the walls and made a large splash. Fozzie and Animal got soaked with water and mud. _

_ As the last of the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. made it through the canyon, they all breathed a sigh of relief. They went on a little further and came into a clearing that looked to once have been farmland of some kind. Now it was deserted, seeming to have been abandoned a long time ago. There were signs that a village had once been here. _

_ Elmo wondered what the people were like who once harvested this land. He was curious to know why they had left this area. Was it because of the war, or was it from something else? Maybe the land was no good, or the government had driven them off for another reason._

_ Just then Animal yelled out "Elmo FREEZE!" Elmo stopped in mid-movement and looked down to see a land mine where he was about to step. Elmo was so scared, he couldn't move in any direction. He just stood there with his leg hanging in the air. _

_ Kermit looked around and it became clear where they were. They had walked right into a minefield. There was no way to tell how big it was. It could be only a few yards, or it could cover the length and width of a football field. Kermit could see at least 8 to 9 mines from where he was. The M.U.P.P.E.T.S. were surrounded by them._

_ Two weeks prior, Delta Company was out on a mission when they encountered a minefield. At first they thought it was two separate minefields, but it turned out to be one big one. Half the company was killed or injured. The M.U.P.P.E.T.S. had to carefully maneuver through this area or they could all end up dead. _

_ Roelf examined a few of the mines and discovered that there were three different types; One that was land based, exploding upwards from the ground, one known as "Hello Dolly" that shot up five feet in the air and then detonated and one that was more like a claymore or plastic explosive tied to a wire tripline. _

_ Kermit knew they had to be close to Grover with all this defense put here. They were approximately 4 klicks from his position, from what Intel had told them. Their goal was now to safely maneuver through this minefield safely with everyone alive. Setting off one of these mines could activate every mine and kill them all. _

_ Kermit called for the groups attention, with Elmo still frozen above the mine he almost stepped on. "All right' said Kermit 'Roelf's gonna take point and lead us out of here. Everyone follow him EXACTLY, stepping only where he steps. Elmo, just stay put and I'll come to help you."_

_ Kermit's words didn't do a whole lot to calm Elmo's nerves. This was not the place he wanted to be right now and the prospect of being blown in half nearly gave him a heart attack. He trusted Kermit and believed in him. He had faith that god was watching over him and would see him safely out of there. _

_ Roelf took the lead position, deftly navigating his way through the minefield, followed by Fozzie Bear and Animal. Kermit slowly walked over to Elmo who was still paralyzed with fear. He took Elmo by the arm and very carefully moved him back from the mine. Elmo was clearly shaken by this event. _

_Elmo looked at Kermit and said "I don't know if I can make it through this." Kermit said "Sure you can kid. You've already come this far. This is nothing, man. Think of it like stepping over a pile of dog shit. Dog shit can't hurt you, right?"_

_Elmo replied "Dog shit, no. A powerful explosive, Uh, yeah, I think that could do some damage." He chuckled afterwards, perhaps more out of fear than humor. It's kind of funny how stressful situations can make you laugh to cope with the situation. _

_With each step that Elmo took, he thought this "one could be my last" and said a Hail Mary with each one. Animal heard Elmo praying and said "Don't bother, God stopped listening a long time ago. He doesn't want any part of this shithole." "Don't listen to him' said Kermit 'If you want to pray, you go ahead and pray. I bet God is still out there, watching over us."_

_Kermit could see the end of the minefield from where he was. It was only about ten yards out and Roelf, Fozzie and Animal were waiting there for Kermit and Elmo to safely make it across the minefield. Their team motto was "Either we all make it out, or no one makes it out." This was a big change from their original motto "Hooters, hooters, yum-yum-yum. Hooters, hooters on a girl that's dumb."_

_Once Elmo's foot was on safe land, he knelt down and kissed the ground. His heart had been in his throat the whole time he was walking through the minefield. Now he could breathe a sigh of relief. In his mind he knew that this was just one more obstacle he had overcome and he felt a little stronger for having done so. _

_Fozzie threw his back pack on the ground and had a very angry look on his face. He said "Man, this mission has been fucked almost right from the start! Every time we turn around, we end up in some shit! Fuck this place and all the bullshit reasons we're here!"_

_Roelf said "hey, it's just like Murphy's Law; anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. That's how life goes, man. Life just keeps throwing problems at you and it never stops. Your whole life it'll happen, no matter who you are, how rich you are or how poor you are. What makes a difference is how you deal with the shit. You can stand up and fight, or roll over and die."_

_Kermit decided to let the team take a 20 minute break to eat a quick meal and plot the next course of action. Elmo was still too shaken up to talk right now. He just wanted to get as far away from the minefield as he could. He decided to take out his journal to write a few notes while he had the chance._

"_I don't know how much more of this I can take. Every day is the same hell and what lies ahead is no. picnic. It rains all the time. It's hot and humid all day and every night. I almost died once already and I'm beginning to think I may not make it out of here alive. I'm trying to be tough and keep it together, but I'm so scared and tired of all of this. I wish I could just go home and leave this place behind forever. I can't wait to leave. I miss home."_

_Chapter 9_

_It was getting into dusk now and the sky was dark and grey, filled with luminous clouds and the feeling that something bigger was on the horizon. The wind had kicked up severely over the last couple of hours. With nothing but trees around them, the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. had to move quickly to find some shelter, unless they found their objective first. _

_Kermit moved the team further along through the dense jungle. Elmo was now on point. It was his first time, but Fozzie was right behind him so he had a little extra confidence. He knew Fozzie would back him up no matter what they ran into. The heavy rain had slowed down to a light sprinkle, which made travel some-what tolerable._

_Fozzie lit up a cigarette and passed it to Elmo. Then, he lit one up for himself. Elmo had started smoking the day after they left for this mission and was getting to like it. He was on his third puff when he heard a clicking noise. He stopped for a moment and raised his fist to signal the rest of the team to stop. He then put out his cigarette and raised his gun to aim in front of him._

_Fear had grabbed Elmo and he was too frightened to take another step. The noise could just be another animal, but it could also be a Vietcong soldier. He probably would have shot anything that was to walk through towards him at that moment. Fozzie slowly walked around Elmo and stepped forward to see what it was. He walked into the bush and disappeared. _

_Kermit took off to the rear to check if anyone was sneaking up behind them. Animal and Roelf were on guard taking watch on the east and the west side of their position. Elmo maintained his position, looking for Fozzie Bear and trying to see if he could make out what the clicking noise was._

_About 5 minutes had gone by when Elmo heard some rustling in the bushes in front of him. He assumed it was Fozzie and slowly crept over there. He looked into the bush and came face to face with a camera lens. Click! It was an American, taking pictures of Elmo. He snapped several shots of a stunned Elmo. _

_Elmo didn't know what to make of this man. Then the photographer spoke "Army, right? Or is it the marines? It's so hard to tell, you know. The uniforms look the same to me man. I almost joined up, but then I came to my senses." He laughed hysterically and walked closer to Elmo. _

_He got a real serious look on his face and then said "Have you ever seen God in the form of a man? Have you witnessed the truth and seen the light? Has the blessing of enlightenment been bestowed upon you child? I have. I have seen the light. I have seen the error of my ways and have been elevated to the status of purity and bliss. All thanks to the Colonel. Now let me ask you, have you found inner peace and sanctity my friend?"_

_The man walked over to Elmo and put his hand on his shoulder. Elmo did not feel like he was in any danger from this man. He was a little weirded out by him and wasn't sure of what to do. The other members of M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad were not around, so he was afraid to make a move on his own. Elmo didn't know if this man was traveling alone or not. _

_The man stood there in front of Elmo, silent now, staring intensely into Elmo's eyes. The man's pupils were dilated so much that you couldn't see any of the color in his eyes. Suddenly, Fozzie came silently out of the jungle and grabbed the photographer's wrist. He twisted it back and forced the man to his knees. He took out his knife and put it to the man's throat. All this happened in a matter of seconds. _

_Fozzie got close to the man's ear and said "There are many levels of pain which I can inflict upon you. All of which I would greatly enjoy." He squeezed the man's wrist hard. The man screamed at him "You're breaking my arm man! Let's talk this out. I'm not gonna hurt anyone. I'm an American photographer. I'm here to take a photographic record of this war man! Come on, let me up. I'll be cool."_

_Fozzie lifted the man up to his feet and pointed his sidearm at the man's face. Fozzie said "Where's your I.D. huh? What the fuck are you doing way out here? There ain't no fucking platoon out here. I want answers mother fucker!" Fozzie was not budging an inch. He'd blow him away in a heartbeat if he had to. Fozzie thought it was strange for a guy like He was going to hold this guy until he got the information he needed. He didn't trust this guy and he'd this to be walking out here in the jungle all alone in the middle of a war. _

_The photographer reached inside his shirt pocket and pulled out an old, beat up I.D. card which read the name Dennis Williams. "My name is Dennis, but everyone calls me Hopper. I got here back in 68' and then I bounced around to a couple different platoons for a while until I ended up here, with the Colonel."_

"_Colonel, what Colonel?" asked Fozzie. Hopper looked at him with a look of pure bliss. He said "The man who has come to save us all. The man who will Shepard all us lost children of the world to the Promised Land. He'll lead us on the path to righteousness, man. He'll balance the universe, the Flora, the Fauna, the Ying and the yang. He IS god's chosen messenger." _

_ Fozzie rolled his eyes and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Does this chosen messenger have a name?" Hopper looked at him and said "back in the world he was known as Grover. Now, he is known as Ciro, which means "founder of the empire." _

_ Fozzie told Elmo to go round up Kermit and the rest of the squad while he stayed there with Hopper. Elmo took off to the south to find Kermit first. When he found Kermit, he was investigating some footprints he discovered in the dirt. Elmo told Kermit what had happened and Kermit followed him back to where Fozzie was waiting. _

_ When they got back to the location, Fozzie and Hopper were both gone. Only Fozzie's bandana was found at the scene. "They were right here' said Elmo 'I swear it. Both of them were standing right here when I left to find you." Kermit said "OK, we're gonna find Roelf and animal first and then we'll ALL look for Fozzie together. He couldn't have gotten too far from here. Do you remember what direction Hopper came from?"_

_ Elmo tried to think back to when he first saw Hopper. "Um, I think it was from the north-east. I was facing due east when he came out of the jungle. I remember hearing something coming from my left side, right before I heard a click."_

_ "Click?' asked Kermit 'what do you mean, click?" "He was taking pictures' said Elmo 'He said he was a photographer taking pictures of the war." "It could have been reconnaissance photos. Grover has all types of people working for him. He could be a spy sent to check on us by Grover."_

_ They both started looking for Roelf and Animal. They found Animal first. He had what looked like several disarmed explosives ordinances with him. "These fuckers were everywhere." said Animal. "Luckily they weren't hidden very well. These damn zipper heads don't know anything about trying to blow shit up. I took down about 7 of these and I'm expecting more of these further ahead. Whatever they're trying to protect, it must be important."_

_ Kermit said "Good job Animal. I think we may be inside Grover's perimeter. We need to find Roelf and look for Fozzie Bear. He's gone missing with an American reporter named hopper. Leave these explosives here. Leave them hidden, but remember where they are for future use. These could come in handy later."_

_ Kermit, Animal and Elmo continued walking and soon found Roelf standing next to a tree that looked like it had been hit by lighting. Something was different; he was standing completely still with a strange look on his face. Kermit walked over to him to see if something was wrong. _

_ When he got to Roelf, he asked him what was going on. Roelf just stood there for a second and then spoke to him "I'm sorry." Kermit did not understand what he meant by that and then it hit him. Kermit said "Oh shit." Suddenly a group of Vietnamese soldiers came out from all directions, guns drawn and ready to take them all out. _

_ They were all screaming at the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. to drop their weapons. Kermit told Animal and Elmo not to fight, but instead hand over their weapons and let these men take them along. These were not Vietcong. They were dressed differently and each had a tattoo on his arm which was the same tattoo that Grover had on his upper left arm. _

_ This was their best shot of getting to Grover and they could put up no resistance now. They had reached their goal with the loss of one team member and having overcome many obstacles. Now, it was time to finish the job they started. It was time to finish Grover, once and for all. Kermit just hoped Fozzie was not dead. So do the rest of us. _

_ Chapter 10_

_ When they got to Grover's camp, the first thing Elmo noticed was a huge alligator pit filled with hungry, ravenous creatures. Everyone here was frantically working, almost like they were preparing for something. Two men were poking and prodding one of the alligators. They seemed to be trying to move him over to a certain area. The alligator was not being very cooperative. _

_ As they walked a little further along, they saw the photographer Hopper taking pictures of the team walking into the camp. He had a big smile on his face and seemed giddy. He said "Welcome my friends! Welcome to your salvation! You'll find our accommodations most welcoming. By the way, thanks for the pot." He held up Elmo's bag of marijuana and smiled. _

_ Hopper walked up closer to the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. and said "Hey, any of you guys want some LSD? It's some real good shit, you know. It's real pure and clean, not like the garbage those Vietcong fucks like to sell unsuspecting assholes. It's made by the colonel." He opened a vile a put a couple drops on his tongue._

_ No one gave any response to this man. Elmo just stared at him, not sure if the drugs made him crazy or if he was already crazy before he started taking them. Hopper just laughed and walked off to another part of the camp. He was the strangest man Elmo had ever seen and that says a lot since Elmo once lived in L.A. There Hopper would just be another freak in the freak kingdom. _

_ The team was led out to a bluff overlooking the alligator pit. Shortly there after, Grover appeared. He was dressed in simple cloth, wearing a hemp necklace and brown sandals. He looked like a cross between a VC soldier and a hippie. _

_ He walked over to Kermit and stared very intensely into his eyes. He said "It's been a long time my old friend. You're looking well." Kermit looked at him and said "It has been a long time, too long." Grover walked over to the other team members. He said "Ah, I see you've brought some friends with you as well. Please, introduce them to me."_

_ Kermit said "This is my team. Their names are Elmo, Animal and Roelf. We are known as the M.U.P.P.E.T.S." "The M.U.P.P.E.T.S.' said Grover 'is that a special forces team? I remember you always saying you wanted to run your own team."_

_ Just then, a man down by the pit signaled to Grover. Grover nodded back and said "Your timing is impeccable Kermit. I was just about to give a little demonstration for some of my brothers here. Now you all get to watch as I give a lesson in values."_

_ Grover walked the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. over to the edge of the bluff. Grover said "Here we can all have a nice view." He then walked over to Kermit and put his arm around his shoulder. He said "Do you know what I always liked about you Kermit? You understand things like rules and the chain of command. Order is very important in a civilized society and without rules, there is chaos. Would you agree to that theory Kermit?"_

_ Kermit stood there and nodded his head slowly. He was unsure of what Grover was about to do. Just then, a group of Grover's men down by the pit brought out a Vietnamese man who was blindfolded and had his hands tied behind his back. They brought this man to the edge of the alligator pit and stood there as if they were waiting for Grover to give them a commanded. _

_ Grover looked down at the man and gave them a nod. One of the men nodded back and then pulled a large hunting knife out of a sheath hung at his side. He took the knife and cut the man's restraints. Then he made several small cuts on the man's arms and legs. He then threw the man into the pit. _

_ Once in the water, the man quickly took off the blindfold. He saw several alligators rapidly moving towards him. He desperately tried to swim towards the shore. One of the men who was standing by the pit looked to Grover, as if he were waiting for some direction from him._

_ Grover gave the man a nod and made a gesture with his hand, taking the edge of his right hand and swiping it across the palm of his left hand in a downward motion. The man who was down by the pit nodded at Grover. He then took the hunting knife out of its sheath and threw it at the ground near the edge of the water. The blade hit the dirt, making it stick out of the ground. _

_ The man was about 7 yards away from the knife when it hit the dirt. He saw the knife and then looked over towards the alligators. They were fast approaching so he had to move quickly. He swam with all his might toward the knife. _

_ He swam very vast, but fate it seems was not on this man's side. The second he grabbed hold of the knife handle, a hungry gator grabbed his leg and dragged him back into the water. Within seconds two more alligators were on him and the group tore him apart faster than a group of stoned potheads at a free buffet. All the men around the pit were roaring with laughter and excitement. _

_ "He was a brave man' said Grover 'he tried to assassinate one of my top men. He did not kill him, though he left him paralyzed. As a result, I had no choice but to kill him. This man had heart, for he did not try to run. He knew that if had, his family would have paid the price for his insolence." _

_ Grover continued, saying "Today I have lost two good men. What you have seen here, as well as the man he paralyzed. He was no good to me without the use of his legs. So, I had no choice but to relieve him of his suffering. He is now with God. Soon, the rest of us shall join him. But there will be time for such things later. Come, walk with me. We have much to discuss."_

_ Elmo was in awe of Grover and his blatant disregard for human life. He had never met anyone like him before and wondered what could have driven a man to this point. Grover was once a man of honor, respected by his colleagues and admired by enlisted men in all branches of the military. Now he was cold sadistic killer who had nothing more on his mind than serving his sick twisted agenda to anyone who was feeling lost a needed a purpose. _

_ Most of the men here were young. Some looked to be as young as 12 years of age. They would all follow Grover to their own end if he so ordered it to be done, without hesitation and without mercy for anyone who tried to stand in their way. They were loyal to Grover and would die for him. They had no problem with becoming a martyr for their cause. _

_ Grover stopped the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. in front of a medium sized grass hut. He then ordered his men to cut the restraints off of them. "You are my guest here. These quarters should adequately suit you all for the night. You should find them very comfortable. Later, we will have a big feast to properly welcome you to my home. For now, you may rest. I will call upon you in several hours. Good day gentlemen."_

_ Grover turned and left as one of his men showed the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. into the hut. They still had no idea what happened to Fozzie Bear. They had seen no sign that he had been captured by Grover's men, but they were unsure if he was still out in the jungle. For all they knew he could already be dead. _

_ Kermit instructed the team to be patient and wait. This was the time for politics, not war. They had to find out more about Grover and what his plans were before they made any sort of an attack on his camp. With all their weapons taken away, they had to form a plan to escape and try to reach a radio Kermit had planted in the jungle near where they were captured. _

_ If they could reach the radio, they could call in for air support. All along that was Kermit's plan; to find Grover with the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. squad and once that was done they would call in the big guns to finish Grover and his men. This was something more personal to Kermit and he wouldn't let anything get in the way of his mission, even if it cost him his own life. _

_ The explosives they hid would need to be retrieved as well. If somehow they could get one man out there, he could call in and bring the explosives back here to be used. They could plant them and begin the attack from within, much like a bad burrito from a Mexican restaurant. _

_ They had to bide their time for now and wait for the right opportunity. No one knew when Grover would call on them so they had to wait for a while at least. When they knew more of the layout of the land they could form a plan. Now, they had to sit tight and hope Fozzie could make some moves out in the jungle, if he was still alive. _

_Chapter 11_

_ It was very hot in the hut and all of the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. changed into the clothes that Grover had provided for them. They didn't know how much time they had to plan before Grover's men came to retrieve them for the dinner feast. In the meantime, they would discuss the details that each member had noticed along the way. _

_ Roelf spoke up first, saying "look, even if we can get someone back to the radio, Animal is the only one who knows how to use the explosives. Kermit is the only one who knows where the radio is and how to use it." Kermit said "Elmo knows how to use the radio." Roelf said "yeah, but can he use the explosives?"_

_ Elmo said "No, I can't. But I know someone who does know how to use them; Fozzie." Roelf said "Yeah, he does, but we don't even know if he's still alive." Elmo said "I know he is." Animal said "How? How the fuck do you know that? We haven't seen any sign that he's alive or been captured. We don't know where he is."_

_ Elmo said "True, we don't know where he is, but Fozzie is one of the best. I have a good, hard feeling that he's still alive. And look, I'm the smallest one here. I could probably slip out the easiest. They might not notice I'm gone if we can time it right." _

_ Kermit agreed, saying "This could work. We could wait until night, when it's completely dark out. Wait, hold on." Kermit reached down into his pants and pulled a map out of his ass. It was a hand drawn map he made while out in the jungle, right before they were captured. He managed to slip it into his rectum before the enemy could find it. It was crude and smelled bad, but it could work. _

_ "Look here Elmo' said Kermit 'if you go down this trail here it could take you back to where we hid the explosives. You'll have to run fast and light. I've hidden a .45 magnum here, if you can get to it. If Fozzie's out there, he'll find you. Just get to the radio first, call in air support and then look for the explosives. Do you think you can handle this?"_

_ Elmo stood there silent for a minute. He was scared, but all he could think about was Fozzie, all alone in the jungle. Elmo had a non-sexual crush on Fozzie bear since he first met him back at the base camp, near My Tho, right on the mouth of the Mekong River Delta. Elmo pictured Fozzie standing with his shirt off and said confidently "Yeah, I can do this." Kermit said "great kid, that's what I like to hear."_

_ Right at that moment, one of Grover's men walked into the hut. He seemed very angry. He carried with him an old French Rifle that looked to be somewhere from a post World War I era. The style of this gun was an uncommon sight here in Vietnam. _

_ He took Elmo and Kermit with him and left Animal and Roelf behind. Elmo and Kermit were taken into another hut. Here around an old oak table sat Grover and two Vietnamese men. Grover told Elmo and Kermit to have a seat. _

_ In front of Grover on the table were a revolver and some loose bullets. "We were just about to play a game' said Grover 'and I thought the two of you might like to join in on the fun. We're playing Russian Roulette. Have you ever played before?"_

_ Grover was looking in Elmo's direction as he began loading the gun. Elmo said "No, I've never played." Grover said "Well, the rules are very simple; if you die, you lose. Since you are new to the game, I'll let you go first. How many bullets would you like?"_

_ "What do you mean?" asked Elmo. "Well' said Grover 'you pick how many bullets you want to be put into the gun. We all bet on whether you will get the chamber of the gun that has the bullet in it. The more bullets you put in the gun, the more money you can win. I think in this game bullets are like women; one is never enough."_

_ Elmo said "I'll take one then." "Two it is then" said Grover. He loaded the bullets and then slammed the gun down on the table in front of Elmo. Kermit was seated across from Elmo and told him "Don't worry kid, if it's you time to go, it's your time to go. Just know that you won't feel any pain." That did not comfort Elmo in any way what-so-ever._

_ For a brief second, Elmo thought of picking up the gun and blowing Grover's brains all over the wall behind him. In his mind he thought it might be worth dieing for. He knew that with Grover's men standing all around them, each with an AK-47, there was no way he could get out of this. He had to play the odds and hope for the best._

_ Elmo picked up the gun and put it to his head. Sweat was dripping from his brow as if he had just stepped out of the shower. In his mind he said "God, please be with me' and then pulled the trigger. Click. No shot. Elmo let out a huge gasp of air and set the revolver down on the table. Right now, he hated Grover with all his heart. _

_ "Very impressive' said Grover 'I guess luck is on your side for now. I just wonder which chamber had the bullet in it." Grover raised the gun up to Kermit's head and pulled the trigger. Click. No shot. Grover laughed hysterically. He said "Hey, I had to check. If you don't look, you never know, huh? Hey, no hard feelings."_

_ Grover then turned the gun on one of his men standing next to him, who was laughing. He pulled the trigger and Bang! The man dropped down and the whole room got silent. Then Grover said "Well, I guess he wasn't so lucky, was he?" Then the whole room busted out laughing. _

_ Elmo and Kermit just looked at each other. They were in disbelief of what they were seeing. Two of Grover's men dragged the dead man's body out of the hut. The men next to Grover put up three fingers and Grover put three bullets in the gun. He was still laughing about shooting the man. _

_ Grover said "Did you see his face when he got shot? It was classic, I mean a real classic. I only wish I had a camera to take a picture of it." Grover spun the barrel and handed it to the man across from him. "Hey Elmo' said Grover' now that you have some money, you can bet. You can really clean up it you bet it all."_

_ Grover tapped Elmo on the arm and beckoned him closer. "Hey' he said 'I'll let you in on a little secret. There are really four bullets in that gun. Shhh." He giggled for a second and then tried to make a straight face. Everyone in the room was still making bets. "Ok' said Grover 'betting is done. It's time for the game to commence."_

_ The whole room got silent and then man prepared to squeeze the trigger. Under his breath he said a prayer in Vietnamese. He put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. Bang! The whole right side of his head was blown away. Blood and brain fragments flew all over Elmo. The whole room roared up and money began changing hands. _

_ Two of Grover's men carried this dead man out and a new man took his place. Now, it was Kermit's turn to play. Grover said "You do know that each man has to beat the last man's record, right? That is how the game is played." Kermit just looked at him, not saying a word. "I'll tell you what' said Grover 'since you're so lucky, let's try five bullets." The whole room went crazy and everyone was screaming at each other. Grover and Kermit just stared at each other, not saying a word. _

_ Grover loaded the bullets, spun the barrel and then set it on the table in front of Kermit. Kermit looked down at the gun. Elmo's eyes were locked on Kermit. He knew the chances of Kermit surviving this were very slim. He knew this was done intentionally by Grover. Grover wanted Kermit to take the bullet. _

_ Kermit took a deep breath and then picked up the gun. He held it and looked at it for a second. He said to Elmo "Remember what we talked about. It's up to you." Kermit raised the gun up to his head and prepared to pull the trigger. The whole room was dead silent. _

_ Just before he could squeeze the trigger, a loud siren went off. Everyone in the hut ran outside to see what was going on. They all looked in the sky and saw a plane flying about 500 feet up in the sky. Kermit recognized it; it was a low level reconnaissance plane. Kermit wondered what it was looking for. No one knew exactly where Grover's camp was, so why was this plane here?_

_ Grover gave some of his men an order and they ran off to a bunker that was half dug into the ground. They uncovered a 20mm cannon and aimed it towards the sky. About 50 yards from that gun, another 20mm cannon was uncovered. They both began firing at the plane. _

_ The plane was maneuvering to avoid the fire, but the barrage of bullets became too intense. The spray of bullets looked like a bukkake in the face of a hooker. The plane soon was engulfed in fire and smoke and went down in the jungle. It exploded on impact. The entire crew was killed._

_ The entire camp was now in chaos. Grover ordered two of his men to take Elmo and Kermit back to the hut. If the plane had radioed in the position of the camp, U.S. soldiers and more planes could be on them in a day or two. Grover had some planning to do. He had to prepare. _

_ Grover's men walked behind Elmo and Kermit on the way to the hut. This was the opportunity they needed. Kermit fell to the ground and pretended to hurt his ankle. When the guard approached Kermit he slung his rifle on his back to help Kermit up off the ground. _

_ As Kermit was rising, he hit the guard in the throat, killing him instantly. Then he grabbed a knife off his belt and threw it at the other guard's neck before he could get off a shot. Elmo grabbed the man's gun and they both ran off to hide behind a hut. Once there Kermit told Elmo to take off while he went to grab Animal and Roelf. Elmo took off into the jungle under all the chaos going on at the camp. _

_ Kermit made his way back to the hut where Animal and Roelf were. He took out the guard standing watch and went into the hut. He gave the guard's gun to Animal. He then told them that Elmo made his way outside of the camp and was on his way to the radio. Now they would find a secure spot and wait for the cavalry, which would hopefully come soon._

_Chapter 12_

_ Elmo made it back to the point where Kermit left the radio. He was trying to find exactly where Kermit hid it. "Come on' he said 'where the fuck is it?" He noticed something under some brush and went closer to look at it. Just then something grabbed him from behind and pulled him back. _

_ It was Fozzie Bear, alive and well. Elmo was excited to see him. He said "Fozzie you're alive! I knew it! What happened to you?" Fozzie explained that he heard a noise and went to check it out. When he got back he saw Grover's men taking everyone in. he decided to play it safe and lay low until he came up with a plan to help them._

_ Elmo explained the plan to Fozzie. Fozzie said he called in to base and told them of the situation. He also knew of the reconnaissance plane and told Elmo the C-130's were already on the way. They only needed the final co-ordinates of the base, which the reconnaissance plane provided. _

_ Elmo told Fozzie about the explosives Animal had hidden out there for them. They searched around for a minute and then found them. There were 7 explosives, with three different types; 2 landmines, three triplines and two claymore explosives. _

_ They took the explosives and headed back towards Grover's base. They made it to a ridge overlooking Grover's camp. There was a little less chaos in the camp, but they were still preparing for a possible attack. The guns were hidden under some camouflage so they could not be seen from the air. _

_ Fozzie pointed out some entrance and exit points to Elmo. When the C-130's were here, they would have to move fast to get the team out. The planes would clear out most of Grover's army and defense, while two helicopters would be waiting to fly them all out, once the mission was accomplished. This all had to be timed just right for it to be successful. _

_ Fozzie and Elmo now had their plan together. A low rumbling was heard and they knew it was the C-130's approaching. Once they made their initial strike, Elmo would make his way down towards the camp. When the coast was clear, Elmo would go in to free the rest of the team. _

_ The planes were now in range and flew into firing position. Grover's men began firing on them. The planes returned fir with its 4 Gatling guns and 2 howitzers. Some 150 to 200 men were running around on the ground. The two planes were in a constant fire, hitting buildings and men on the ground. _

_ One of the planes annihilated one of the 20mm guns on the ground, tearing apart its crew. Then it started firing on a large group of men in the middle of the base, preparing to fir more anti-aircraft guns. The gun was rendered inoperable and never was fired. _

_ Suddenly, the plane was struck in the fuselage, causing the plane to burst into flames. It went down hard into the jungle, killing everyone on board. The second plane took out the gun, leaving two guns on the ground. It managed to take out one more, but was then shot down as well. The helicopters were now to hold back to prevent any further loss of life._

_ Elmo ran as hard as he could into the base. About 50 men were left and the base was nearly in ruins. Fire was rampant and the men were too busy to notice Elmo. But then, two of Grover's men saw him and ran over to him. They began to fir and Elmo jumped behind a tree for cover. _

_ As the two men were reloading their weapons, Elmo took a grenade that Fozzie had given him and pulled the pin. Then he threw it over to the men, who looked at each other and ran. However they could not run fast enough and the grenade blew them in half. Elmo's adrenaline was pumping hard once again. _

_ Elmo continued on and saw the hut where the M.U.P.P.E.T.S. were being held. There were two guards in front of the entrance. Hopper was there as well, taking pictures of the camp. Now Elmo had to figure out a way to get inside and free his companions. _

_ Just then he saw Fozzie along side the hut. He signaled to Elmo, making gestures saying that Elmo should get the guards attention and make them chase him away. Then, he would go inside and free the team. Elmo nodded back and prepared to do so. _

_ He jumped out from behind the tree and yelled at the guards. Then he turned tail and ran as hard as he could. The plan worked. The guards followed Elmo out into the jungle. Hopper then followed along behind them, taking pictures as he ran. _

_ Elmo could hear the men firing at him from behind. A couple of times he could see the bullets hitting trees around him. They were narrowly missing him. He thought to himself "If I can split them up, I can take them both out." _

_ He saw a hole and jumped inside. The two men ran by. They came to a cliff and stopped. They knew that they must have passed them by and had to double back. They both split up and took different paths. Elmo waited as one of the men walked by in front of him. _

_ He was about 25 yards out when Elmo took his gun and aimed it at him. Quietly and to himself he said "So long fuckface" and went to fire. Then he heard a snap behind him. He turned to see one of the soldiers standing behind him with his gun pointed at Elmo. _

_ The man made Elmo give him his gun and move out of the hole. He walked Elmo over to an opening and stood him against a tree. Hopper showed up just then and told the man to wait because he wanted to take a picture of Elmo before he was shot. He took a few pictures and then told the man to go ahead and kill him. _

_ The man raised his gun at Elmo. Elmo just looked at him. Then he saw something behind the man, but thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. The jungle was moving but the wind was not blowing. Then, two large metal blades pierced through the man's chest and he was lifted off of the ground._

_ Elmo thought he was losing it because there was nothing behind the man. Hopper frantically took pictures of what was happening. Then something came to form behind the man. A creature visualized as if he was there the whole time. It was a large man-like creature with a metallic mask on and some kind of weapon on his shoulder. I say man because you could see a big swinging cock between its legs. _

_ It was some kind of alien, perhaps a predator of some kind that was hunting people. It stared Grover's man in the face and then flung him into a tree. The man was dead. Hopper continued taking pictures of this creature. _

_ The creature walked over to Elmo. He picked Elmo up by the throat and looked at him. Then, Hopper ran over and snapped a close up picture of the creature. It dropped Elmo and roared at the man. Hopper slowly backed away while taking pictures. _

_ Just then the second guard came running out of the jungle behind the creature. He began firing at the creature, which then turned around. He pressed a button on his arm and disappeared. The man stopped firing. Then the creature reappeared behind the man and cut his head off._

_ Hopper started jumping up and down screaming "Yes, that was awesome." He then went to change the film in his camera. When he reached into his bag to get more film, the creature became angered. It started running towards Hopper. Hopper quickly tried to put film in the camera. _

_ Just as he got in the film, the creature extended the two blades that were attached to his arm. He stabbed them through Hopper and raised him up in the air. Hopper screamed and with his last bit of energy took a picture of the creature killing him. Then he dropped the camera. _

_ Elmo was still in shock of what was happening. He knew he would be next if he didn't do something. He saw his rifle lying a few feet from him. He grabbed it while the creature was still holding Hopper. Then the creature turned his head and saw Elmo. He threw Hopper's body into a tree and roared at Elmo. _

_ He began running towards Elmo. Elmo looked at him and said "Hasta la vista, baby' and opened fire. The creature was hit and then turned around to run in the other direction. Elmo ram after him. He got to the edge of the cliff and stopped. The creature was nowhere around. Elmo knew this creature could become invisible so he could be anywhere. _

_ Elmo heard a snap behind him. He turned and opened fire. He hit the creature who was invisible. He became visible and charged Elmo. Elmo continued firing and the creature went down. He then walked over to the creature. _

_ He took it's mask off and said "You're one ugly mother fucker". Then the creature reached up and grabbed Elmo. Elmo took his .45 out and shot it in the face. The creature let go of Elmo and took his last breath. Just then, Elmo remembered his teammates back at Grover's camp. He took of to help them. He had to help finish the job they came out here for. _

_Chapter 13_

_Elmo got back to the base and it seemed eerily quiet. He crept around the corner of a hut and poked his head around the corner. He saw some bodies hanging up like the ones he saw back in the jungle, with their skin removed and hanging upside down. He couldn't tell who they were. There were about 8 bodies hanging and some of them could be M.U.P.P.E.T.S._

_ Elmo walked a little further and saw Animal standing alone. He was muttering incoherently to himself. Elmo touched him on the shoulder and he turned around. He was covered in blood. Elmo asked him if he was alright._

_ Animal said "It just came out of nowhere. It was there one minute and then gone the next. It was invisible… I couldn't do anything." Elmo said "Where's everyone else? Where are the rest of the M.U.P.P.E.T.S.?" Animal looked at him and said "It got Roelf. He didn't even have a chance. I tried to help, but… but…"_

_ Elmo said "Where's Kermit and Fozzie?" Animal said "Fozzie ran off after it and Kermit took off to find Grover. I don't know where they are now." Elmo could see that Animal was hurt very badly. He needed medical help soon or he might die. _

_ Elmo said "Ok, you find some shelter. I'll find Kermit and Fozzie and we'll all get the fuck out of here." He helped Animal to a place to be safe and then went on through the camp. They entire camp was either on fire or exploding around him. _

_ As he came by the cliff over looking the alligator pit he saw Kermit and Grover fighting. Grover threw Kermit back on the ground and then charged at him. Kermit jumped up and kicked Grover's leg out from under him._

_ Elmo ran up to help. He raised his gun to shoot Grover, but didn't have a clean shot. He moved in a little closer. Kermit yelled at him to stay back. "This is mine" he yelled. Grover was now on top of Kermit and hit him three times in the face. _

_ Kermit kneed him in the balls and then flipped Grover off of him. They both stood up at the same time. They stood there for a second looking at each other. Grover then pulled out a knife. Kermit didn't have one on him but saw a knife on the ground about 5 feet away from him. _

_ He went for the knife and Grover took a swipe at him with his knife. Kermit dodged the swipe and made it to the knife on the ground. He ran at Grover and swiped Grover's left forearm. Grover swiped Kermit's right abdomen. The both started circling around each other. _

_ Grover tossed the knife back and forth between his hands. He then took a swipe at Kermit's leg, but Kermit dodged it. Grover then took another swipe at Kermit's arm and cut him pretty deeply. He then flipped the knife around in his hand and cut Kermit's stomach upward. Kermit screamed and dropped the knife. _

_ Grover grabbed Kermit by the neck and held him over the alligator pit. Three gators were waiting down there below them. Kermit was too weak from all the wounds to now fight back. Grover said "I always knew I was the better man. You're so pathetic. I'll enjoy watching you die."_

_ Elmo ran towards him but was fell over a wire foot trap. He was stuck and couldn't move. His leg was cut up pretty badly. Just then he looked up in the trees and saw an image. It was another one of those creatures, camouflaged and standing on a branch. _

_ It fired at Grover and he fell over the cliff. Kermit fell with him. Elmo managed to get the wire off his foot and made his way over to the edge of the cliff. Kermit was hanging on to a piece of rock, but just barely. Grover was being eaten alive by the alligators. _

_ Elmo reached down to grab Kermit. He grabbed his hand and pulled him up. Kermit had made it back up to the edge of the cliff and was laying there bleeding profusely. Elmo looked up and saw the creature standing above him, with a red laser target with three dots aimed at his chest, slowly moving up towards his face. _

_ Just then, Fozzie came running in screaming "Wokka wokka you cocksucker" and opened fire with his heavy machine gun. He hit the creature and he tried to turn invisible but the dived that did so was damaged. He fired a shoulder mounted gun at Fozzie but narrowly missed him. _

_ Fozzie dived behind a tree stump for cover. The creature ran over towards him. Fozzie poked his head out but the creature was nowhere to be seen. He turned his head over his shoulder and saw him standing there. The creature took out a spear and stabbed it at Fozzie, but Fozzie rolled out of the way. The spear became lodged in the tree stump. _

_ Fozzie took out his shotgun and blasted the creature. He shot it six times and it went down and didn't move. Fozzie walked over to him and reloaded his shotgun on the way. By this time, Animal found his way over to them and saw Fozzie shoot the creature. _

_ Fozzie walked over to the creature and tried to remove it's face mask. It was stuck. Fozzie removed two tubes connected to it and then pulled the mask off. It was coughing up some glowing green blood. It was dying. _

_ It had four sharp teeth and a set of teeth behind that. It looked like a mutant warthog. It was ugly. Fozzie said "What the fuck are you?" It growled at him and then pressed a button on its arm. A control panel was beneath it. The creature pressed some buttons and it started beeping. _

_ It was some kind of an alien timer that was counting down. Fozzie realized it was some kind of a self-destruct device. He ran over to Kermit and Elmo. He picked up Kermit and threw him over his shoulder. He said "Come on, we got to get the fuck out of here!"_

_ They all took off as fast as they could. As they were running away, they could hear the creature making noises that sounded like laughter. They saw the helicopters and loaded up. The helicopters took off. When they were about 150 feet in the air there was a huge explosion that rocked the helicopter. _

_ An alarm was blaring now. One of the medics said "We lost this one" and Kermit died. The pilot said "lock it down, we're going down. Everyone hang on." Fozzie looked at Elmo. The helicopter hit hard and threw Fozzie out of the helicopter. Elmo was knocked unconscious. _

_ When Elmo awoke he was in a hospital. It was all white, with white walls, white beds, white sheets, everything was white. He saw Animal and Fozzie lying in beds next to his. They were all alive, but just barely. There were no nurses or doctors around. There weren't even any other patients in the room. There were 20 beds total in this room and all were empty and neatly made. _

_ Elmo said "Hello?" and no one answered. He got up and out of his bed. He was wearing a white hospital gown and nothing more. He walked out into the hallway. No one was out there. The whole place was dead silent. He went back to the room and saw his pistol hanging in his holster. He grabbed it and headed back out into the hallway. Something seemed very wrong. _

_ As he made his way down the hall he became very worried. It was too bizarre that no one was here. He wondered if something bad had happened. He walked down the hall and a door cracked open about 4 inches. He cocked his gun and slowly walked over to the door. He opened it and walked inside. _

_ This whole room was whit with many TV monitors ion the walls. The room was round and a white chair was facing in the opposite direction. Elmo said "hello?" and the chair turned around. The man was elderly, with a white beard, white hair and dressed all in white. _

_ He said "Hello Elmo. I've been expecting you. You won't be needing that gun anymore." Elmo looked down and saw the gun had disappeared. Elmo was scared now and said "Who are you?" The man said "I am the creator. Welcome to the Matrix." _

_The End…_


End file.
